Our crazy life

Today I wanted to get ready and leave the house. This process took 2 hours. I was never prepared for what your life becomes after having a child. Not that it's bad.... it's just such a circus! I used to dream of tropical vacations and such. Lately... my dream - is to put my makeup on without interruptions. Or maybe to take a shower without any screaming. Or... my complete fantasy... is to go buy a magazine and sit in a coffee shop and read it. Oh yes. READ IT. I've said it before and I'll say it again... ahhh... motherhood.

SO... for you non-mothers out there (umm.... Tanya). Get ready sista. Cuz here's just a glimpse of my life.

My 2 goals for this morning. 1) take a shower and, 2) leave the house. Taking a shower while Easton is asleep is by far the easiest way to accomplish my first goal. So to make that happen, I had to:

-find Easton
-change his diaper... made the mistake of telling him I'm going to change his diaper,
so now...
-chase easton around the house and catch him
- hold him down and remove pants
-let go of child to grab diaper which I forgot
-chase him down again
-hold him down while he screams and kicks
-let go of child to grab wipes which I forgot
-make a mental note that changing him near where we keep the diapers/wipes can save time
-chase him down again
-hold him down and successfully change diaper
-find pants that he took off with during one of the times he ran off
-chase him down to put pants on
-find special blankets somewhere in the house
-turn on fan, snuggle him, and put him to bed

shower time.

-phone rings...
-talk to friend, hangup so I can take a shower
-dryer beeps... really need to fold laundry so husband doesn't get mad that it's piled up on the couch
-fold laundry
-phone rings
-talk to other friend
-dog barks
-yell at dog so she doesn't wake up easton
-phone rings again
-talk to work
-dog barks
-go to yell at dog, but trip over the broom easton left in the middle of the floor and knock over his sippy cup from the counter top which makes a loud crash
-get easton from his crib because the loud crash woke him up

So now I must take a shower while Easton is up. No big deal. Kindof. (it's positive thinking that allows most moms to remain sane)

-install baby gate in front of shower
-pick up clothes easton pulled off hangers while I was installing the baby gate
-pick up jewelry easton pulled off the counter while I was picking up the clothes from the closet
-pick up clothes off the floor again because I forgot to shut the closet door while I was picking up jewelry
-find a clean towel
-put toys in bathroom to entertain easton while I shower
-take shower
-keep foot pressed against shower door the whole time because while he can't get in the shower with me, he can still open the door and water gets everywhere
-listen to easton scream because he can't open the shower door
-wonder what that loud crash was
-try to convince easton to "bring mama her towel" which is now across the bathroom
-go get towel from across the bathroom
-dry off
-clean up water that dripped onto the floor while drying off because Easton moved the shower rug
-try to find shower rug
-can't find shower rug and am perplexed because the bathroom is only so big
-make a mental note to figure out where the shower rug is
-pick up dan's razor off the floor and hope it's not broke
-get dressed
-get underwear from laundry room
-notice the shower rug is in the laundry room
-quickly stop all thoughts pertaining to a strange person coming into the bathroom while I was in the shower and taking the shower rug and putting it into the laundry room because they are stalking me and are just beginning to leave little indications that they are around
-go back into closet to finish getting dressed
-pick up clothes easton pulled off the hangers and say something close to "are you freaking kidding me"
-get makeup bag from bathtub (sigh)
-put makeup on
-retie shoes that easton untied
-fix hair
-tie shoes again
-fill e's sippy cup
-change e's diaper
-put acceptable clothes on easton
-find purse/keys
-find easton
-look for e's sippy cup
-make easton a new sippy cup
-gather everything up and pick up easton to leave
-put everything down because easton pooped and needs a new diaper
-go through the whole changing diaper process from above
-gather everything up again
-phone rings
-talk to dan
-find freaking sippy cup again
-gather everything up again
-load easton in carseat
-start car
-go back for cell phone
-get in car
-go back for e's special blanket
-go back in for sunglasses
-shut garage door
-get out and move the spider web that's in the way of the garage door beam that's making it so the garage door won't shut

-and finally... drive away. yay! only 2 hours later.

I'm thinking of writing a book and calling it "Hey! You! Read this before you think about becoming pregnant..."