I'm thinking of writing a book about all the questions I have thought of since becoming a new mom. Please feel free to answer any of them...
Why is my house a total mess every single day? I used to have one of those houses that was basically spotless most of the time, but now it always needs to be cleaned. There is crap EVERYWHERE. Why am I one of those people now?
Will I ever sleep more than a three hour stretch again?
Is there anything wrong with going to the bathroom while holding your infant? To add to that, should anyone ever be holding someone else while pooping?
What ARE the chances of a childless psychotic woman breaking into my house while I sleep and stealing my newborn? I guess to add to that, how often are Law and Order SVU episodes based on real events? Not too often, I hope...
Why do I feel obligated to tell people that although my son bottle feeds, I still am pumping out my breast milk and occasionally give it to him, but plan on giving it to him all the time later once we've figured out if he is allergic to milk? (See, I'm actually doing it right now...)
Why do I lie to people who offer suggestions about how to do something differently with the baby? I tell them I've already tried whatever they are suggesting, even though I haven't, and it didn't work. (Note: I generally only do this with people I am not close to... does that make it better?)
Will I ever read, rather finish, a book that is not baby related?
How much do nannies cost? Chefs? Housekeepers? Psychologists?
Is it bad that having dried vomit on my shirt does not bother me?
Is it bad that there is dried poop on my couch and not only am I doing nothing to remove it, but I tend to laugh when I see it because it's that funny yellow color?
And finally, is it wrong for me to get mad when my husband, baby, and dog are sound alseep and snoring while I am unable to fall asleep because of these questions?
Anyhow, those are just a few of what I could add to my memoirs o' motherhood.
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4 comments:
I am laughing out loud at how it took you about 6 weeks or less to completely change everything about how you think and live!!
Oh My Gosh! It so brings me back to the days when my kids were younger. I have since forgotten all those little things. Thanks for sharing so I can also relive my memories, seeing how on Friday I went to the store with my daughter and I was buying Bacardi Silver. Ya they asked for my ID and then wanted to see hers. I had to explain to them that she was my 13 year old daughter and would not be drinking with me. That is how old they are getting (or as young as they are making me).
I haven't read your blog for awhile and only just skimmed through it now, Kristen. I'm sorry I didn't know about Easton's tummy troubles. You know how David does reflexology-it often has been a real help w/ babies who are hurting. You might like to try working the bottom of his feet to calm him down when he's fussy.
Funny questions, but I remember when...! Haven't you ever heard your mom talking about being exhausted before she even left the house with you guys? So true!!
Yes, there is life outside of baby, but not until after the first year or so unless you have an outside job! :)
Feel free to give me a call if you need someone to hold Easton for you. I can get my 'baby fix' (Yes, when you get older you actually miss them and need a baby fix from time to time!)and you can get some things done. You live close now!!
~Teresa
Ahh, the joys of motherhood. We tried to tell you how it would be, but until you've lived it on your own...
Call me when you need a break! I need a baby fix, too, once in a while!
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