This week....

I've been working A LOT (poor me... having to join the rest of the world). I don't generally, if ever, blog about work, but sometimes? Enough is enough and here are some suggestions if you ever have to call 911...

- If you have warrants, maybe you should consider NOT calling to report some stupid thing you think is a crime and then also request police come talk to you. Because really? You will probably go to jail (oh yes, even IF you are the victim of a verbal assault).

-You probably shouldn't report that someone stole your meth while you were too high to notice.

- You really can't be mad if the prostitute you gave a family necklace to for payment doesn't want to give it back. And you probably shouldn't call to report that either.

- To add on above.... it's also not a crime for the prostitute to be "really bad"... that's kindof a risk you take by paying a stranger for sex. This too should not be reported (in my opinion).

- Don't be mad that your car window got smashed while your purse was on the front seat with your rent money, passport, and jewelry in it. If I was a dirty criminal I probably couldn't pass that up either.

- Yelling "just get here!!" wont help if you don't give your address. I know giving your location must appear to be a complete waste of time... but really it's not. There is actually more than 1 house in our county.

- It's not a crime to do fireworks on the 4th of July. We have been an independent country since 1776. Fireworks have probably been going on since then. Get used to it.

- It's also not a crime for your teenager to scream obscenities at you. I agree it probably should be, but it's not. Try being a parent from the time they are young and then maybe when they are teenagers they will respect you.

- If you're a male and want to see if your private parts can fit into a bottle... please don't. Because if it goes in, it can also get stuck and the more you try to get it out, the more stuck it will become. And nobody wants to have to deal with that.

It's also wildly entertaining to just sit back and listen to the different things being said inside of a 911 center...

-Who stole your thoughts?
-How many bombs are under your house?

-What did you say when he offered sex for money?
-Has she had sex with an animal before?

-No, I don't know the phone number to Quiznos.

-Not knowing the time is not an emergency.

Oh man. This must be why 911 dispatchers get paid so well?? ;)